she'll look at you and swear she's true, what will moving to california do? i know for sure she's lost her way. you'll be wrapped around her finger too, she's a little too much and a little too good for you..
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
they don't know that what you love is ripped away/ 1:35 AM got an e-mail from home tonight, it's inevitable that it has me feeling pretty homesick. "I can play guitar pretty good now and have even written a couple of decent songs. Right now, I am listening to some oldies while I write you this email. I want to learn to play some Herman's Hermits tunes and also Small Faces songs. They just seem like you could have a lot of fun with them! I hope everyone in L.A. is doing well. Tell everyone I said "Hi". I figure your aunt must be mad at me by now because I never got around to returning her last couple of calls. I just never think of it at the right times. I love you very much and miss you. I think about you a lot. I hope you are laughing, smiling, and having a good time! Make sure you like what you are doing and who you are doing it with. Keep your sense of adventure and remember to always run away from trouble! Write when you can and don;t forget to let me know when your plane arrives so I can get you at the airport. I love you! Dad....................... :)" i absolutely hate that i don't talk to my family more often. half of it is my fault, i know this..but it's the way they raised me. i am just like them, so anything i have to say right now is hypocritical as fuck. we are all so independent and you're just supposed to know that you love each other. i don't suggest living this way because 90% of the time, i don't know that anyone loves me at all. this is the first i have heard from my dad since i went home for christmas. i e-mailed him two weeks ago and tonight he finally responded. he doesn't call because he is afraid he is bothering me..i have told him many times that he isn't and to call whenever he wants. i cannot even explain how happy it would make me to look at my phone and see "MISSED CALL: DAD". he's busy though and as mentioned in the e-mail, he doesn't think to call at the right times..i know he doesn't do it on purpose. i know he cares, a lot. but it still never ceases to bother me. my mom is better at calling, i am pretty much the one that sucks at contacting her. i work until 6:30 and she is in bed by 9pm, so with the 3 hour time difference, we never get to connect. i used to be so close with my mom. REALLY close. things changed some when my parents divorced, 5 years ago. she wanted to stay in the house and have my dad find a new place..i didn't think that was right considering she was the one that found someone else she was in love with. i think when we had to tell her that we weren't on her side with this one, things really never went back to normal. i mean, our relationship is fine..i love her, but we lost the part of it where we laughed and joked together. it has taken her up until a year ago to finally believe me when i say that i don't think things are her fault and that i am glad she's happy. i see now that everything worked out how it should've. more importantly than my whining, hearing from my dad made me really excited to go home at the end of april. it's moms birthday and i want to do something nice. i haven't gotten to spend her birthday with her for 3 years. sometimes i forget i went almost a year and a half without seeing her..it doesn't seem like that time in life even happened. i don't really know why i am ranting about this stuff. i just haven't put it down in words for a long time and i feel like i should. and i REALLY don't know why i am ranting about it here, these are not typical things i like to share with people. but either way, it is what it is. i think tomorrow i will call my mom, call my dad, call my sister. who cares if they don't call me, i should be calling them. it takes two to tango, right? |
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sunset overdose
i went to heaven, but couldn't get in for what i had done. i said, "please take me." they said, "you're crazy..you had too much fun." about me my name is kelly. i am 23 years old. i live in los angeles. my life is pretty alright. |
go listen to
hit the lights flight 409 the friday night boys mayday parade last.fm
what i am listening to.
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sunset overdose
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